I can't really agree with this article. Sorry. I just think you're wrong.

First of all, and just because even though it's a obvious statement it's still one with validity: If you haven't had sex before who are you to make statements on it? It would be like me criticising opera. I know jack about it, and have never been to one. But I've heard about it on TV.

Basically what your whole missive here is saying is that sex is bad.

'What about the sanctity of the body?'

Well? What about it? Does the giving or recieving of pleasure somehow make you impure? Is sex dirty? I didn't realise we still thought that. Logically "sanctity" can only be "violated" by something impure, unclean, dirty.

'So maybe it's a, “Well I don't care about the consequences, I'm going to live life to the full, which means I can sleep with anyone I want to sleep with and you can't stop me,” situation.'

Or alternatively, maybe it's that we naturally seek companionship and intimacy, both emotionally and physically. Maybe it's not a matter of consequences, but of need, of desire, and of love. Or maybe that view you espoused as a possible "cause" of sexuality is one that's shared by pretty much... no one. It interests me that you make no distinction between sleeping with everybody and sleeping with somebody.

'You should be able to do what you want to do. But not to the loss of your morals.'

Which morals? Morality is so subjective and shifting that referencing it even in passing is pointless. Morality is a meaningless concept, in fact a religious concept. It's the beliefs that say sex is a sin, sex is dirty, that are hurting us as a society. Not the giving of mutual pleasure in the creation of intimacy.

'Men can sleep with women and feel nothing at all and just do it, for example, out of sheer boredom (or so some of my male friends tell me) but women can’t – they need that emotional attachment no matter what they say.'

You need new male friends who aren't complete jerks. I have NEVER had sex with someone I didn't care for, and my chief goal in that process was ALWAYS to give her pleasure, to be with her, close to her, as close as two people can be, physically and emotionally. I have turned down "offers" many times because I didn't care for the woman. And as for the women thing... speak for yourself. I know any number of women that have sex casually and with no attachment. In fact you're not EVEN speaking for yourself. So who are you speaking for? I can only presume that you've asked a lot of girlfriends, but that's still hardly representative of women. So essentially you're trivialising both male and female sexuality. Which is regrettable.

'So what’s the problem with men? Or maybe the issue lies with the women? Maybe women should enjoy sex as men do (sex a-la-carte) but then that makes them a ‘slut’. A man can sleep with whoever he wants and he’s a hero for doing it but a woman who does the same is labelled a whore. Make sense of that.'

This is a genuine issue. THIS is the issue. Not sex itself but societal attitudes to sex. Medieval, primitive, moralistic, sex-is-bad type attitudes. Attitudes that say sex is something men do to women, or take from women. Attitudes that deny the intensity and ferocity of female sexual desire. This is where we need to work, where we need to change. To remove the double standard that says men should do it and women shouldn't. But not by stopping men having sex, or making them feel guilty about it, but by freeing women. The very notion of a "slut" is an insult to women, to feminism. Yet one that's left unchecked.

'Why is it that if you sleep around you are degrading yourself and being thoughtless to your body?'

Says who?

'Surely there is a reason that God (or whoever/whatever it was that made this upside down world) has created the number of sexually transmitted diseases out there for a purpose.'

Surely there is a reason that God (etc) created Influenza. Maybe we shouldn't breathe? No, sex is merely one of many potential vectors. No more or less. We get respiratory diseases from breathing. We get blood-born diseases from cuts. We get food poisoning from eating infected food. Maybe we shouldn't eat? We can get cholera from infected water. Maybe we shouldn't drink? We get some diseases from kissing or from touching someone. The sheer level and degree of intimacy when engaging in sex makes it a possible vector for a range of diseases that are simply to fragile or immobile to pass by other methods. This isn't sexual. It isn't moral. It's bacterial. There are ways to combat sexually transmitted diseases, but realistically they're better treated with openness and candour than with moralism and judgement.

'People are so obsessed with their own self pleasure that the thought or idea that someone might be celibate is generally a shock to the system of the every day human.'

Celibate actually means not getting married, and only our archaic moralism equates the two. Chaste means not having sex. I don't find it shocking, personally. Or no more than when someone says "No, I haven't seen Fight Club." or "No, I haven't seen The Godfather." I'm fine with that. It's just something they haven't done. What shocks me is when they make a personal stand about how bad Fight Club is, and how the world would be better if people weren't watching Fight Club, despite not having ever seen it. :)

'Shouldn't that be a trait that is to be praised in someone? The fact that they are thinking of others over themselves?'

So all sex is selfish? Who says that someone who doesn't have sex is thinking of others? Who says someone who DOES have sex is thinking of themselves? Is it not less selfish to give yourself to someone else? Is it not less selfish to give someone else pleasure? You speak of sex like it's a dark thing, impure, manipulative, selfish, cruel, cold and brutal.

Sex is love. It's joy. It's pleasure. It's intimacy. It's fun. In its essence, from a number of ways you can look at the world, sex is the very meaning of life, of our existence. To love and be loved. To bear young. To give and experience pleasure. It saddens me to see that trivialised, disparaged, and condemned.

I agree that some of society's attitudes are self-destructive, but it's the very purity and goodness of sex that means it should be respected and protected, not treated as some sort of secret shame.

We can agree on one (and only one) thing in this article: Be true to yourself. If you're ready, go forth with enthusiasm. If you're not, don't let anyone (especially a man) pressure you into something you're not comfortable with. If you're a man be true to your own beliefs and feelings, and don't just seek "conquests" because you feel there's some obligation to. If you're a woman don't let anyone call you a slut for any reason, ever. Embrace and enjoy your own sexuality free from shame. To anyone who reads this, live your life completely, and love well and fully.